


The Pursuit Of Happiness

by DeviousPaleKitten, UisceOneLove



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Academic Brat!Five, And Maybe Just a Tad Bit Of Angst, Artist!Klaus, Cop!Diego, Domestic, Established Relationship, Favorite Uncle!Ben, Five And Diego Go Head To Head, Five Gets Powers Later, Five Is Also Dying To Talk To Ben, Five Is Super Nosy, Five is their biological child, Ghost!Ben, I have a problem, I'm a Slut for Kliego Happiness, Klaus And Ben Use To Play D&D, Klaus Wanted To Teach Five How To Be A DM, Kliego RP, M/M, My BBYS Are Happy, No Death Pun Intended, Non-Power!Five, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Past Mpreg, RP, Reggie is deadie, Ren Faire, Starbucks Is An Evil Coffee Selling Corporation, The Problem Is I'm Lazy, Yes Five's Real Name Is Aidan, based of an rp, but only at the beginning, mentions of mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 16:38:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19398127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeviousPaleKitten/pseuds/DeviousPaleKitten, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UisceOneLove/pseuds/UisceOneLove
Summary: **Based on a Kliego RP between DeviousPaleKitten and her bestie UisceOneLove!**A fun-filled day at the Ren Faire is expected and planned out, except Five would rather chew off his own foot. Diego makes Five go to keep Klaus happy. Klaus, who lovingly made his boys handmade costumes for his boys!Did Five mentions he is also trying to keep his parents from agreeing to another baby?This life is Klaus' #5 on his list -- Happiness





	The Pursuit Of Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo I know I should be working on TINS, and those extra one shots, but me and my bestie just finished this awesome RP that I have to share with the world!
> 
> Because its an RP I did try to doctor it and try to make it flow as smoothly as a fic would,not saying I accomplished it 100%. So I apologize if it feels jerky in some places or that it stalls in weird corners.
> 
> And since it is a LONG ASS RP I did cut into two chapters. So this the first part. Next part is coming soon. 
> 
> Thanks, guys! Love ya <3

It was a little hard to miss the old piece of notebook paper taped in the corner of the mirror of his mother's makeup vanity table in his parents' bedroom. It was yellowing, and was wrinkled like it had been balled up more than once,the corner ripped because it wasn't torn out of the notebook correctly. But it was still probably one of the most precious things in their home. He wasn’t sure why it was never framed, maybe to this day his mother still needed to look at it every day first thing. Maybe it meant something that he was on there, directly at number 5. It was how he got his name after all.

_Ten Things I Want In My Life_

  
_1.) To get sober_

  
_2.)To STAY sober_

  
_3.) Ben alive_

  
_4.) Diego. In any way he’ll have me in his own life_

  
_5.) Happiness_

  
_6.)Get back into painting_

  
_7.) The world to stop spinning so fast around me_

  
_8.) Never go back to rehab again have stupid group talks_

  
_9.)The outfit Allison was wearing on last month’s Cosmo_

  
_10.) Never have to make a stupid list like this again_

**_***_ **

Anyone who called Five _Aidan_ had another thing coming to them. Only family got that luxury. But to everyone else he was Five Hargreeves, son of Diego and Klaus Hargreeves. Much to the chagrin of some old Umbrella Academy fans who use to cut pictures of Klaus and Diego out of _Teen Beat_ magazines back in the day. Five found that a tad ridiculous, how Reginald had encouraged such things, it was crazy what you could find online now. Five was basically the child of child stars.

At least it didn’t affect his everyday life. Five was still top of his class at Bridge Wood Prep, he was busy trying to stay there at the top and setting up so much extra credit projects that there was a good chance of graduating early within the next two years. But did his parents appreciate it, no. They were busy worrying about him making friends and hanging out in arcades, or getting into mischief that other kids his age were doing. 

Five would like to point out that he was pretty sure the arcade was a dying establishment. Why go waste hundreds of dollars on cumbersome joystick games when you could spend the same amount of money at home on your computer? But he knew what they were getting at, at their age they didn’t get such privileges growing up within Reginald’s mini Army regiment. 

He was still getting dragged by his parents to ‘fun events’. They wanted Five to make friends, but they were also killing any chances of that by subjecting him to be seen doing stupid things with them in public. His dad’s favorite thing use to be taking Five to Al’s Gym he use to work at before Five was born and before his dad joined the police force. And for a while, it worked, and Five loved it when he was younger. He use to want to be just like his dad when he grew up. And then he got older and the gym was just a nuisance. 

Then there was camping every summer, something they did with all of Five’s aunts, uncles, and his cousin Claire. Yeah, even his mom hated that and tried to get out of it. As much as Five actually didn’t have a problem with said family gatherings, and was even pretty close to Claire, it still felt like a really boring waste of time. It almost made him wish he did friends to use as an excuse of getting out of it. At least it was his mother who was the one that complained about the lack of wifi the most.

His dad also wasn’t _quite_ as pleasant around his Aunt Vanya as he could be yet. Five hadn’t had a chance to get ahold of her book because his parents have kept from him, but Five was biding his time. He’d get his hands on a copy eventually. He had a pretty idea what it said, anyway, judging by the looks Aunt Vanya still got when it was brought up in conversation -- or by his dad alone.

And it was, once again, almost the end of the current school year, and Five had still refused to learn to be sociable yet, the new family trip before camping next month was now to the Ren Faire. Five would rather chew off his own foot. But his mom was super excited about it since Uncle Ben showed him an ad while his mom was cruising through social media. So Five had been threatened by his dad to not whine or make this miserable for his mom. 

He was _really_ hoping, that if he kept to himself all nice and quiet in his room, maybe he’d be forgotten. It wouldn't be the end of the world if his parents just went by themselves. They could see it a date, and Five’s mom really liked those when his dad tried to make them all romantic and other gross stuff. Five _really_ didn’t have to see that, thanks.

He could hear his mom humming from somewhere past his closed door, putting the finishing touches on their costumes, something Five recognized as a vaguely Disney-esque. Yes, that’s right, _costumes_ for this stupid thing. Five was already working really hard on his excuses for not going to this time. His mom was good at believing tears, but it was his dad that Five really needed to get to buy whatever Five was trying to pass off.

There was a knock on his door, and it opened before Five could even tell the person on the other side he was busy, or tried to hide behind his desk or something. Please, don’t let it be his mother. 

"Still have homework?" Oh good, it was his dad. "Here I thought you somehow finished the whole semester's worth."

Five bit the inside of his cheek, trying to keep his immediate reply about how much he regretted that his parents hadn’t forgotten him. He never thought he would envy that kid from _Home Alone_. 

He cleared his throat and set his pencil down perpendicular to his history book he was working out of and turned to face his father. Actual singing could now be heard coming from down the hall. “Extra credit before the end of the year. I told you I’m close to making the top of the Headmaster’s Honor Roll.” Which was another perfect reason why he needed to stay home today. “A report about the _1940s_ , dad, not the 1440s.”

Diego did not miss that pointed comment. "Well, we're definitely impressed, and proud," he replied. Academics may have been another big shove at the Academy but Five seemed to _enjoy_ school. "Seeing the 1400s will help with making great contrasts between the decades."

Five sighed and rolled his eyes, but his father was about as subtle as he had been though. So Five couldn’t completely fault him for it. “Why does it have to be a Ren Faire,dad?” He gave in,sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms. “You know,there is a NASA Aero and Space convention in Midtown today too. And there was even some kind of cheese fest yesterday that you know mom could have dragged you to instead.”

Diego almost groaned, but he did the grown-up thing and sighed instead. "I did know, since you strategically planted flyers and pamphlets all over the apartment," He nodded, rubbing at the scar above his eyebrow. "I learned a long time ago that there's no point in asking a lot of questions or trying to understand your mom."

Oh good,Five had been worried he hadn’t dropped enough hints. “Mom says Uncle Ben and Aunt Allison like to say you’re completely wrapped around his little manicured finger. I’m a little worried that’s how you wound up with me.” Five arched a brow at his father. “If no one will tell him no then do we really have any kind of autonomy?”

"Okay, first of all," Diego started, eyes narrowing at his son and pointing a finger at him, "Allison just loves to talk shit and Ben enjoys stirring the pot when he's bored so he can get a leg up on everyone." He blamed Klaus for that level of the friendship. Allison was just asking for an ass-kicking.

“That chastisement doesn’t sound like denial,father. I don’t hear a no.” Five grinned smugly. Oh,maybe he could get grounded! Then Five really wouldn’t be able to go today! “Not that I’ve ever seen you do anything else. When is the last time you really told mom no?”

Diego stared down his kid, he knew this card and wasn't going to let it set him off. "If it wasn't for me telling your mom no you would have been named after a crystal or the lead singer of an emo band first chance he got." That was a long conversation that was repeated several times before Klaus finally whined and gave up. "Also, this little thing you're trying, yeah, will only wind up being why you attend this faire for more than one day."

Usually, Five liked to think he was a lot more mature than to sigh in frustration,but this was the perfect situation that called for it. He actually turned away and thunked his head on his desk. He should have seen the consequences of this backfiring. “But no costume!” He demanded, it was a tad muffled since his face was still against wood and holding up a finger his father’s way.

"You're wearing what he's made for you," Diego replied gleefully as he stood. "You're not getting out of any of it now. Wear your school blazer on top of it for all I care, but you are wearing the costume." He was not dealing with a heartbroken or sulky Klaus all because of a damn costume.

That just called for another groan. “I have to be adopted.” Five grumbled, slamming his textbook shut. “This is some kind of child abuse!” It just meant that Five had to pull out all the stops and be cute with his mother as a last resort. It had been a while since Five allowed his mother to baby him, and he knew his mother was dying to do it again. 

Five had heard a whisper of a conversation last week when he walked by his parents’ bedroom, the _tiniest_ seed of a thought of a second child possibility. Five needed to kill that now before it grew.

"You're so right," Diego nodded with false sympathy, "It has to be abuse to be forced to spend time with your parents, doing something for one of their happiness. I can't believe we didn't see it before, Five." And people thought Five had nothing in common with Klaus. This was a pretty fine example.

Five’s retort was interrupted by his mother’s mother’s voice coming from behind his dad asking,”Who is getting abused today?” 

Five had to lean to the side to see his mother in the doorway,arms crossed as he looked between Five and his father. He was also dressed up in something green,glittering,and flowing. Like if Tinkerbell’s sister stripped to feed her three kids.

"No one. Not today, at least." Diego turned around and didn't even get a chance to stop his eyes from roaming over Klaus. "That's a lot of skin, don't you think?" He aimed for light but begrudgingly felt like he missed the mark.

“Oh, please, Diego,it’s _just_ skin. We’re going to be outside anyway. It’s not as if I’d have to start charging for a show if I bent over — no matter what Ben says.” Klaus cleared his throat and waved Diego off. 

"I think I'd like to hear what else Ben's been saying about it, cuz it sounds like we're on the same page," Diego countered.

Klaus was so disregarding all of that. Diego and Ben were so not the bosses of him. No matter how long he had officially been with Diego now.

Five was going to jump off the nearest bridge head first.

“Mom, Mom, I can’t go today. I’m loaded with homework. It’s the end of the year,and you know how hard I’ve worked. Can’t we just plan a day next weekend or something,just you and me? Dad doesn’t even have to be invited.” Five gave his best sad,stressed look. Plus he even threw in teary eyes and made sure his voice cracked a little. 

Diego eyed their son. Five was going that route now, huh? "Extra credit doesn't count as a homework load. " He told the kid and turned back to Klaus. "Did I forget to tell you? Five is excited about what you're making for him to wear. He's just so stubborn about hiding it." 

Klaus moved closer to his son,”Aw,Aidy.” He cooed,maybe thinking about giving in to the request...till Diego brought up costumes. A smile lit up Klaus’ face and he clapped in excitement,”Wait till you see what I have for you! Oh it’s so cute,you’re just gonna die! Not for real of course,let’s not go down that road again...”

Oh,Five was gonna kill his dad. He almost bit off his tongue trying to hold back from attacking his father. It really didn’t help with his mom looked so excited. And _this_ would be why people had such a hard time saying no to his mom. “I think you should save the best for last. Dress dad first.”

"Oh no, don't worry about me," Diego waved off, "I'm good with just watching the festivities. I'm not going to steal your thunder, this feels like something special for you two to do together." 

Ben snorted from his place where he suddenly appeared on Five's bed with one of the kid's books open in his lap. "Who knew this family was able to get more entertaining?" Diego was so screwed no matter which side this ends up on.

Klaus’ eyes only flickered to Ben for a second,mainly out of habit. At least the guy was making nice comments this time. He didn’t need any reprimanding this time,he even got a smile from Klaus. “Five’s costume is a bit more simple. You,Dear Diego,are gonna need a hand...or three.” He pointed to his favorite knife thrower. “Come with me.” He started to pull Diego with him by a belt loop. 

"No, really, you don't need to," Diego insisted. The only way he'd be going anywhere while Klaus is in that costume was if he was going to be able to see Klaus ride him in it. He was _not_ going to put on a costume, he will set it on fire.

“D, suck it up and let me help you put on your big boy pants.” Klaus rolled his eyes.

"I've already got big boy pants," Diego responded, "And they would not do well out in the hot weather today since they're leather." He would never wish to be in the position of actual knights who wore leather and chainmail in blistering heat.

“Diego,come on. You can not wear leather to this place. It’s not that kind of — Five,cover your ears — dungeon. _Not_ a dungeon,Diego. Not a place we’re taking our safeword.”

Five, of course, did not cover his ear and wished he had when he had to suppress a shudder. He was tempted to finally take the number of Aunt Vanya’s shrink.

"And you keep finding ways for me to be even more scarred.” Ben bitched at his brother, “Stop talking about S&M in front of your son, Klaus!" 

Five still felt like he half won. His mother was gonna personally wrangle his dad in his costume himself. Five got to be a big boy and put his on as slowly as he wanted. He did catch the stray look over at his bed his mother gave,and it was instinct to look there too,always suspecting a ghost. But his mom was smiling,”Is Uncle Ben here?” Five would love to pass his place up to his Uncle,leave his mom and with mom’s best friend.

Ben waved without looking up from the book. "How is this your kid? You couldn't read _any_ of these books." He'd try to help Diego but this was a suffering that couldn't be protected from.

Klaus waved his hand vaguely in Ben’s direction for Five’s sake,”He’s on your bed. Reading one of those smarty-pants books that makes us normal people feel stupid when we have to look up every other word in the dictionary. Seriously, kid, you did not get those brain cells from me.”

Five’s lips quirked up and he gave a friendly wave where his mother said his uncle was. Five had always wanted to meet Ben face to face,but Ben had died long before he was born. “I don’t know,in emergency situations I’ve seen the both of you exhibit some above average strategic hustle.”

"If you'd been less high when we were supposed to be learning this then you might have had a better chance at understanding it," Ben pointed out while he eyed Diego and Five with both pity and amusement. He was _so_ glad to be dead and not have to go through this costume debacle himself.

“And there goes that happy reunion. You _know_ not to bring that up around the boy, we had a deal,Benjamin!” Klaus hissed at his brother. And this would be why he only made costumes for Diego and Five! Ben only did this to himself. 

“What did Uncle Ben say?” Five asked,curiously looking from his bed to his mother. It had to be something good for his mother’s feathers to be that ruffled. He hated not knowing things!

Ben gave his brother a flat look. "He can't see or hear me. It's a moot point." For example, the boy _asking_ to know what was said.

“Maybe we should let you dish this out with Ben and just give you some time.” Diego suggested, trying to take baby steps backward so he could run.

“ _So_ unfair everyone can hear me and not Ben.” Klaus sighed at Diego,he was going to play the Ignore Game with Ben now. Didn’t the three of them see that Klaus was trying to do something! He was trying to take care of his boys and make them fabulous! 

“Diego, my dear, my love, my reason for being here at this exact moment.” Klaus fluttered his lashes at his husband and kissed Diego softly, patting his knife slinger on the cheek. “Suck it up, Buttercup.” He deadpanned,smile dropping from his face when he grabbed Diego’s hand. “Aidan, stay here and I’ll be right back with yours. Also,eyes away from your general bed area. Your uncle is in time out.” Klaus warned as he dragged Diego out of Five’s room. 

"That is another low blow, Klaus!" Ben called after him with a groan. Fine. Leave him stuck in a room without anyone to have a lively discussion with so he can burn through his infinite time as a ghost. This shit sucked. 

“What,but what did Uncle Ben say!” It was rare for Five to be nosy,but usually he could get the answer on his own if he was curious about something. But it was also rare for his mom to get that edge in his voice,especially with Ben. Even if there was still that joking lit to it. And his mother officially called Five by his given name,so Five might as well listen to him.

Five sighed and sat back in his chair,feeling trapped in his room where earlier it had been his safe haven. “I hate being out of the loop,Uncle Ben.” He spun around to face exactly where his mom told him not to. It was a little embarrassing,for all he knew Ben could have left and followed his parents. “It always feels like they’re hiding something. It has to be bad if they're still trying to hide it from me after all these years. Like Aunt Vanya’s book. How old do you need to be to gain some trust around here?”

Ben gave up on the book and just criss-crossed his legs and gave his nephew his attention. Really sucks not getting to keep this conversation two-sided. So he sighed heavily because he could. Not in a sulky Klaus way. In a totally bored and frustrated way. "You're not going to hear this at all, Five, but some things a kid does not need to know about their parents. Others are great for humiliating them as I would gladly do if Klaus wasn't the only one who could see me."

Meanwhile, in the master bedroom across the hall, Diego was counting this as a win as long as Five was still getting dragged all the way into Klaus' faire fantasies. 

Now to avoid this costume thing himself at all costs. "Why don't we try adding some length to _your_ costume, baby?" He tried first, trying to step out of reach of his husband. "You can be some forest elf. Design some matching pants. Is that what's going to happen with Five's costume? A matching thing going on? That'll be cute."

“Have I ever told you how cute _you_ are when you try to deflect?” Klaus hummed, not buying a word Diego was saying. He may not look like it,but Klaus was sometimes smarter than he looked. “And you know mine isn’t as indecent as it could be. There will be worse costumes at the faire. And you know I look _good_ .” Klaus winked at him. “Now stay _here_ ,Diego. I’ll be right back.” He demanded as he grabbed Five’s costume so he could go drop it off with their son. “You won’t like who I send to haunt you if you leave,babe.” Klaus warned as he slipped back out down the hall.

"That's part of the problem," Diego muttered under his breath, plopping down to sit on the bed in defeat. _Of course,_ Klaus looked good, and seeing Klaus in that costume only makes him want to take advantage of his husband and also not feel too happy about the idea of other people getting to see. 

Klaus paused at the doorway of Five’s room,not exactly sure what was going on but it did look like Ben and Five were having a real conversation. Though he only heard the end of Ben’s response. Klaus arched a brow in silent question at his brother when he walked back in,setting the red tunic and brown breeches on the bed by Ben. “What happened to ignoring your Uncle,kid?”

Five perked up,ignoring the stupid costume,”He’s still here?” Maybe Ben did hear him after all. 

“You know,sometimes I feel like you enjoy Ben’s presence more than mine and your dad’s.” Klaus hummed,holding up the tunic to his son. 

Five shrugged,and made a face at the costume. It was sad that he could actually see the detailing on it,some fancy embroidery work that really showed how hard his mother had worked on it for him. “He’s the only one I never got to meet,but I feel like he knows a lot more than any Hargreeves put together. He’s a silent observer,I can relate to that.” 

Ben snorted, right, the last time he'd been a silent observer was during Klaus' harder drug phase. Before Diego was able to punch Klaus in the face more than Ben could. Not literally,though. Diego was good at keeping his violent tendencies in check with Klaus (only Luther got that demon). "Maybe it's because I don't pressure him into wearing tunics," He said with a shrug. It was really hard not to feel that deep sadness again when it came to the kid. It was hard being a dead uncle.

“Drop dead,Benjamin.” Klaus hissed through the side of his mouth. And another low blow,but Ben was really pushing his buttons. And on a day that was supposed to promise family fun!

Ben gaped at Klaus before huffing. "Insulted!" He shouted at his brother who very much will regret that comment!

Five knew he had no other way out of this and he took the damn tunic. It was nice that it was red,it was one of his favorite colors,but _still_. “I’ve got this if you want to get back to helping dad.” He offered politely. 

“D’aww.” Klaus patted Five’s head and skipped to the door. “That’s why you’re my favorite son.”

“Uh,one more thing,mom.” Five called after him,”You know dad is suffering enough with you in that outfit,right?”

Klaus rolled eyes and closed Five’s door without answering him,heading right back to the master bedroom. Luckily for Diego, Diego hadn’t tried to run. “I don’t know what is up with you and your son,” He grumbled to his husband, ”It’s not like I’m wearing Leia’s gold bikini. Get over it,it’s not 1955.”

"I don't know or care what that's supposed to mean," Diego responded, flipping one of his smaller knives repeatedly in the air and catching it by the hilt every time, "But that is another thing you are never wearing out publicly." No one is going to see Klaus in a bikini. The skin exposure was his only.

“Okay, D,put the caveman away.” Though,yeah,Diego’s possessiveness was hot. Really hot. Like it’s probably fueled maybe 70% of their relationship. It might have been what conceived their son,actually. “Stand up and get undressed already.” Klaus rolled his hand at him. “You’re killing daylight,Batman.”

"You're killing the enjoyment I get when the clothes come off," Diego returned in a mutter, resigned to giving Klaus what he wanted (again) and put his knife aside to start tugging off his shirt. Where were the days he was able to easily reject what Klaus wanted and not feel bad for it in any way?

“You’ll never understand how tickled I am about how spoiled you’ve gotten.” Klaus shook his head. But he still step up all in Diego’s space,their faces almost touching,total eye contact as he helped Diego with his pants. So maybe Diego’s leather attire made up for the rest of their 30%. “Is this better?” He whispered against Diego’s lips. Five was supposed to be their big baby,but if this made Diego feel better,then sure. Klaus would give him a hand or two.

Diego would not huff, that would give Klaus a win. It was hard not to feel something stir, though, with the contact and infinitesimal space. "I don't think this is doing what you're planning for it to," He warned. It was going to make them be in this bedroom for a lot longer.

“Oh really?” He asked,arching his brows in total disbelief. Of course Klaus _knew_ what he was doing,Diego was just some easy fun. “I hear less complaining.” He hummed,pulling Diego’s pants lower and ‘accidentally’ brushing his fingers over Diego’s equally black briefs. Still a little surprising those weren’t leather as well. “Five complains a lot less than you,you know. I think you just die for my attention, Diego Dear.”

Diego's breath took a sharp turn when he inhaled and, yeah, he knew for sure what Klaus was trying to do. "Five knows he can get your attention going a completely different route with you," He corrected, hands hiking up Klaus' exposed legs just under the skirt of the dress without his permission. "Like _you_ know how to push my buttons. That's the real reason your costume has to look like this, isn't it?"

“Oh my god,Diego, not everything is about you, you know.” Klaus rolled his eyes,someone was a little self-centered. “I happened to have put in a lot of time making the costumes for today,mine included. And your possessive Alpha Male hindbrain was not my first thought. I like my costume,I think I look fantastic,thank you very much.”

"Never said you didn't look fantastic," Diego returned. Again, part of the problem. Like when watching Klaus walk around in those tight shirts, or the cute cropped ones that show off that slice of his midriff. "I'm proud of the work you've put into all this. Seeing you motivated is pretty sexy in itself."

Klaus paused with his hands on Diego’s chest,tilting his head,and taking gage of where and why Diego’s hands were on his person. And then it hit him, “You’re turned on.” It finally dawned on him. “Like _really_ and _explicitly_ turned on by me in this thing,aren’t you? OhmygodDohmygod! Will you be able to go out in public with our son with me in this?!” Oh this was great. Klaus was flattered,of course, but he was a second away from dissolving into hysterical giggles.

Diego rolled his eyes. "Not now that you've ruined it." He moved to the side and away from Klaus. "Also, I'm not some exhibitionist pervert who can't control himself in front of his kid." He's just the type who'd punch anyone else in the face who openly checks out his husband.

"Aw, don't feel like throwing down a gauntlet and defending my honor? Got bored of doing that already, huh?" Klaus huffed, tossing a black tunic a lot like the red one he had given Five, though it was lighter material and not as embellished. "Guess it was fun while it lasted."

"You enjoy that way too much. I'm never going to have enough time to let my knuckles heal before the next one." Diego picked up the tunic and inspected it, okay, so it wasn't as out there as what Klaus was wearing. He was still sure he was going to regret giving in to Klaus again. To make his husband happy he pulled on the tunic. Why did it have to look decent?

“So maybe your inner caveman actually turns me a bit too,so sue me.” Klaus shrugged,fixing the tunic where it sat across Diego’s shoulders and then handed over some dark brown breeches like Fives, these were _not_ made of leather. “Maybe I put this on as a neon sign for others to look at me, maybe it was a totally innocent choice. You will never know.”

"None of your choices are innocent," Diego said, deadpan. He set the breeches aside, he couldn't believe he was putting this costume on. What the hell did he do to be so weak when it comes to Klaus?

“Urg, now you just sound like Ben. But I’ll have the both of you know,this choice _actually_ was innocent.” Klaus scoffed,feeling _so_ insulted but not enough to look away from Diego undressing just to get redressed. He was never one to turn down a good show. “Mom helped me with the pattern,and the fabric choices. You gonna blame _Mom_ for this now,Mama’s Boy?”

"Mom has helped with _all_ our clothes before," Diego said primly, narrowing his eyes at Klaus as he pulled the new pants on. "She's also not the one who conceptualized the plan of costumes, nor made them. So no, she doesn't get any blame."

“D, if I roll my eyes any harder they will _literally_ fall out of my fucking head right now.” So _that’s_ where Five gets that from. Klaus was a little proud that was his son. “You know...something tells me that you and Aidan are actually dreading this today...”

Diego sighed, why couldn't Klaus not notice things? Diego brought him closer again and took too much joy out of how much he wanted to do something about Klaus' costume so they could have a little fun before going back to their son. "Going today has made you happy. I always look forward to something making you happy." As long as it wasn't coming from a vice. "You know Aidan is bad at showing when he is anything other than perturbed."

“Yeah,” Klaus said slowly,narrowing his eyes at Diego,”What a completely fancy way of making sure you don’t say I’m right.” Diego and Five didn’t want to do this. How had Klaus missed that? He had been so excited to do something fun with his boys.

"It is not, because you're not right." Diego pecked Klaus' mouth and lightly ran a hand along the man's back. "I'm looking forward to us spending some time together and seeing you happy. Sure, we're going to be surrounded by a lot of overzealous guys dressed like its _Game Of Thrones_ and swinging some replica swords around but it'll still be fun."

“Right. And Luther has been a fully functional adult ever since dad died.” Well, he sort of was. Allison helps. But missing the point! “There were those stupid flyers Five has been leaving around for that NASA thing. It sounds _so_ incredibly boring, but it also sounds like he really wants to go. In his own modern era clothes,even.”

"Don't bring Luther into this, you know he's my safeword," Diego replied calmly. "That NASA thing will come again, we can take him to the actual space center some time for a tour." Never happening. That kid has turned into a menace and Diego will not feed that monster with gifts. "He just doesn't know what to expect today. He's nervous about a costume, that's all. You know how he is about doing something different."

“Ha.” Klaus commented humorlessly,though a little proud of Diego’s safeword joke. Klaus has taught him well,and he was a little proud. “So what you’re saying, is that we should tell Five to suck it up and have a damn good time with family?”

"Now we're finally on the same page, baby," Diego nodded. He was so glad Klaus could catch on. Might be a little proud. "So let's get this costume finished and put him in his, and then we can go enjoy your walkabout at the faire."

He positively beamed at Diego and pulled him for a real kiss,nothing pacifying or teasing. This was why Klaus always thought Diego was the only one that understood him — besides Ben. Sometimes. “Just don’t hate me when I say what you’re wearing isn’t all that goes with your costume. And remember that I really did have your best assets in mind. Plus your _ass_ , but this is a family place after all.”

Yeah. Diego knew he was going to regret this. The things he does for Klaus now. "I know I'm going to regret asking, but what assets _did_ you decide to focus on with this thing?" He'll think about the ass comment later when he gets to do what he really wants to with Klaus.

“Honestly,it sounds like you don’t even trust me,D.” Klaus huffed,moving beyond Diego to the bed to grab the armor pieces he had knitted out of metallic silver yarn. “I just wanted you to be my knight in shining knitted armor. Is that so bad?”

Yarn. That's...okay, so he had thought Klaus might have gone on with some equivalent of leather or something else unfortunate. "Yarn in the sun? Baby, I'm going to get pretty overheated," Diego pointed out, but he wasn't stopping Klaus since he already made that point in giving in.

“It’s not like it’s the middle of summer,Diego. It’s actually supposed to be nice and pleasant today. I know you don’t really like to go out in the ‘daylight’,” Yes,Klaus made air quotes, glittery gold painted fingernails and all, “But I _am_ actually capable of checking the weather and not try to kill you. Your police pension isn’t mature enough to support me and Five anyways. Maybe till Husband Number 2 comes along, I’ve always thought I was worth a Sugar Daddy at some point in my life:”

Diego rolled his eyes. "The _last_ thing you need is a Sugar Daddy." He was already spoiling Klaus enough as it is. That, and Diego really didn’t like the idea of someone coming in and taking his place when it came to taking care of his family, _especially_ Klaus. 

"Well,maybe not the _last_ thing." Klaus shrugged as he helped Diego secure his armor pieces. "And it's not like I'm actively searching for one, I'm currently more than happy with you and your spawn in the other room. But, you know, life happens,Diego."

"I know too well that life happens." Life had a nice way of making him question the IQ levels of the world almost every day when he's at work busting a poor attempt at burglary or some stupid ass petty fight between two people in line at Starbucks. Why did he think the cop life was for him, again?

"Way to get deep there, Batman." Klaus shook his head at his handsome man there. "Going to start rambling about your Mommy and Daddy Issues and how that got you into the marvelous world of leather? Because I really don't know if we have time for that,I'd like to at least be able to make it to Five's graduation before we die."

Diego didn't have his knives on him so he had to go with a slap to Klaus' ass. It might be part of their fun some nights but it was still good as a warning. "Get this yarn armor finished and we can snatch up the kid."

Klaus gasped in faux insult and rounded back at Diego, pushing him hard enough to get him to fall on to the bed. Had they have had a bit more time, they might have been able to enjoy how _accessible_ Klaus' costume was. Too bad he wasn't sure if Diego deserved it. "You're just butthurt that you know I'm right!" Klaus tossed the rest of the pieces of Diego’s armor at Diego to deal with on his own and shashyed away, the skirt of his dress giving a fun and fluttery twirl.

Diego landed on the bed with a bounce and a smirk to follow it. "Only if you want to also talk about me being right when I say it's the pot and kettle again!" He knew there were a few other things Klaus was thinking now and it felt like a point of pride getting back just that smidge in all this.

“If you don’t watch it then you won’t get any piece of this kettle when we get back home.” Klaus sang as he slipped out of the room to go check on Five. Though it was an empty threat,it was hard to not want Diego all over him. Yes, Klaus loved the attention. He would totally just roll around in it if he had only shown Diego his costume earlier. They could have time to have some real fun before the family fun.

That was so unlikely. Klaus hardly ever held to that threat, they both knew it. Diego's smirk was big and a whole lot of smug. He stayed behind to finish putting on these knitted pieces to the costume. Klaus was good at reeling Five in on his own.

“Aidy,come on!” Klaus called,knocking on Five’s door, ”You and your dad are burning precious daylight. I know for a fact you’re not vampires.” He had Ben check Diego once a couple of years ago when Diego was sleeping. 

Five sighed and yanked open the door,trying his hardest to muster up a smile for his mother when he opened the door. “I’m scared to ask what shoes you’re envisioning me to put on with this thing.”

“Well, we can’t have you wear your school shoes, you’re Headmaster has it out for me the last time you did that and scuffed them all to hell when your dad tried to teach you how to shoot basketballs.” Klaus sighed,tapping his chin. As much as he hated Five’s pretentious school, and how much it reminded Klaus of the one he and Diego grew up in, Five’s was academically good for their very intellectually gifted son. And there were worse things to do with Reginald’s money after he died. At least Five school wasn’t at an academy, he was at a prep school. There was a difference. “Where are those shoes I got you for our Christmas card last year?”

Five arched a brow,he couldn’t be serious. “Those ridiculous bright red canvas low tops with no arch support?” 

“Exactly! Yes,those! Oh,you were so cute. You looked like a real little boy in those and the Santa hat!” Five was so cute and _so_ pissed. God,Klaus was really mourning his baby boy growing up so fast.

"You're officially _that_ parent," Ben shook his head in amazement from the seat he still had on the bed. "Let him wear some comfortable shoes, Klaus, just paint them red or whatever." This kid was going to harbor some intense resentment for this.

“ _Gawd_ ,have you really been here this whole time? What,did you watch Five get dressed and make sure he could tie his pants?” Klaus glared at his brother,crossing his arms over the corset of his dress. 

"I know you like to watch Diego when he's changing, but I have the decency to look away when my nephew _and_ my brother are getting dressed," Ben sniffed and crossed his arms.

“Uncle Ben never left?” Five asked,looking back into his room. “What’s he saying? Why are you guys fighting?”

Klaus looked back to his son,tilting his head curiously. “Why are are you always so curious about your Uncle? And don’t give me the thing about you never getting to meet him. You’ve been doing this since you were a kid and you said he was your imaginary friend.”

His mother just had to bring _that_ up. When Five was young and ridiculous. And he did hate that,yeah, he was noisier than he’d admit. But he also really hated conversations happening right in front of him that he can’t follow along. “What’s so wrong about being curious about your own family. There are still things you and dad won’t tell me about. Wouldn’t it be better if this wasn’t one of those?”

Ben stood and came up behind Five with an expectant look. "What are you so afraid of? What's so wrong with him knowing more about me or what I say?"

“It’s not about _you_ ,it’s what I know you have to say.” Klaus hissed at Ben and then patted Five’s head,”Get your shoes,sweetie, and meet us at the door.” 

“I _really_ hate it when you do that.” Five grumbled,batting his mom’s hand and moving over to the mirror on the back of his closet to redo his hair. “Just like I hate one-sided conversations!” He called after his mother,even though Klaus had left. 

"You're not the only one," Ben told the unhearing Five while glaring at Klaus' back. Klaus should really start being more concerned about what comes from his own mouth, not Ben's. It's not his problem that he holds plenty of truths and good stories to pass on to his nephew. 

“You know,if he wasn’t already dead I’d kill Ben sometimes.” Klaus grumbled when he was back in the master bedroom,yanking open his and Diego’s closet door to step in and roam around for his own shoes. He had forgotten such items since Klaus did prefer to be barefoot when he could. 

And one of his favorite features that sold him on this apartment when he had finally gotten Diego to agree to move out of the gym’s boiler room was the lovely walk in closet. Klaus thought he deserved it,especially since he was still carrying Diego’s child at the time they were apartment shopping.

"It doesn't matter how many times you say that. I know you'd never do it," Diego almost laughed. He might laugh later. He pitied Ben for being stuck with only Klaus as a conversation buddy. He kinda missed being able to talk with his sibling. Diego also wasn’t blind to Five’s interest in knowing about Ben either.

Klaus grumbled under his breath,making sure Ben hadn’t followed him into the closet. He wouldn’t lie that he did like his brother keeping an eye on his son,it always made him feel better knowing Five was safe and never alone. Ben was like the ultimate baby monitor when Five was a kid. He sighed when he came back around the corner,plopping down on the bed so he could pull on metallic gold lace-up ballet flats. 

“Do you remember when Five was younger and said Ben was his imaginary friend?” Klaus asked his husband,thinking about the conversation he just had with their son. “I wish you could have seen the look on Ben’s face the first time he heard that.”

Yeah, Diego remembered that. It was back when Five wasn't as uptight as he was now. When the kid actually _acted_ like a kid and Diego could think he was cute. Now Klaus was the only one who still thought that. "One of those moments when he looked like he was fighting against crying?" he guessed. Diego also remembered Ben disappearing for a few days after Five was first born. It must be hard for Ben. More than he was able to imagine.

Klaus sighed and nodded,leaning back on his hands,”Yeah. He was just so...god,it was so hard not constantly want to squeeze his cheeks. I mean,he’s still a cute little man now,but...I really miss that sometimes, D. And I was thinking just a while ago how sad it was how much he’s grown. I miss little Aidan.”

This is why Diego's resolve has slowly been crumbling when Klaus brought up trying for a second kid. "We all grow up sometime," he replied, not without sympathy. "Five's still got some of his childish looks." Underneath the permanent scowl.

Klaus was just pouting at that now. Funny, since when he and Diego had officially gotten together having a kid and _wanting_ kids didn’t even make the list the last things on earth he’d ever want. Diego was just a good influence,the life he wanted them to have,and the first time Klaus had held Five he was a total and complete goner. It’s why he worked so hard to keep his illicit past away from their son. Technically Five made the list Klaus had had to write out a long time ago. His number 5. “Those won’t last too much longer.” Klaus shook his head,going back to fixing his shoes. “Why can’t he just stay tiny and cute forever?”

Five really had been about to go wait for his parents in the living room,it was right by the door so it counted. And then he heard the dreaded topic come back. God,were his parents obsessed? He was _right_ there! 

Five sighed and rolled his eyes,kneeling down to untie those stupid shoes and pinch his cheeks,making the collar of his blazer he had thrown on over his costume crooked. Five took a breath and got into his part,heading down to his parents’ room. “Mom,I don’t think these are fitting right.” Five made his voice soft around the edges when he pointed to his shoes,making sure his eyes were big and a little wet. 

Diego's surprise at their son's appearance quickly evaporated. He wanted to scoff, to roll his eyes, a long list of things to say he was calling bullshit. Five knew how to play Klaus like a fiddle and there were only so many times Diego could be impressed. Five wasn't using it to get out of the costume, so what was the reason this time?

Klaus straightened up,frowning at the low tops and waved Five over. “Come here,Aidy,let me see.” He gave his son a warm smile when Five plopped on the bed next to him,and was in for a lovely surprise when Five actually leaned into him!

Maybe Five was finally getting into the spirit today,because he even let Klaus kiss his head and wrap an arm around him. And didn’t fuss when Klaus fixed his blazer collar -- wait a second, ”Is there a reason you’re wearing _this_?” Klaus indicated to the black blazer that he was pretty sure was a part of Five’s school uniform. 

Five shrugged,making sure he was still while he let his mom take care of him. “Thought it looked good with the red.” He answered innocently,rubbing his cheek on his mom’s shoulder. 

Klaus gave Five a weird look when he pulled his son’s feet into his lap to inspect the shoes. “I’m not saying it _doesn’t_ , but it’s also not era-appropriate, sweetie. Just FYI. It’s why I made your dad change his pants too.” He added,not too sure what Five was talking about since it looked like his shoes fit just fine. Klaus even went as far as tying them for Five. 

"You'll fry out there in that," Diego agreed. Five was _definitely_ up to something. He was going to figure out what it was. This was some crazy abnormal bodyswap thing going on with Five. Ulterior motives were afoot here. For sure.

“Diego,watch the freaking weather channel every once in a while already. Even Ben watches it.” Klaus rolled his eyes at his husband,fixing the lines of Five’s pants after tying his shoes. “But for a guy who has lived most of his life in leather I can see why you’d be so worried.”

While his mother was looking away,Five gave his dad a smug smirk when Five caught him giving him a weird look. Just because his dad was suspicious didn’t mean he’d stop Five’s plan. “If I get too warm can’t I just take it off and get you to carry it for me,daddy?” He asked in that soft vulnerable voice. Five made sure to school his face again when his mom was the one that was giving him a weird look. Except his mom also kind of looked like he wanted to cry.

Diego knew it. The brat knows how to confirm anything Diego's suspects of him and if it weren't for how it was affecting Klaus then he'd be giving Five a good whooping for it. "Shouldn't complain about something we both know you like," Diego warned his husband without moving his eyes off of their son. "If Five is ready to go, then we can actually leave for the faire. Maybe he should get some face-painting done with you while we're there. It'd go great with his costume."

Klaus couldn’t stop himself from holding Five close at that tone. It felt like forever since Five allowed that sort of thing,or talked like that. He should probably know his son was probably after something,but he wanted to be in denial a bit longer and enjoy it. 

But Klaus brightened up at Diego’s suggestion. “Yes, face-painting, Aidy! Oh,you haven’t let us do that since before you were ten!” See,he loved Diego for more than just his _really_ sexy body, and his arms,and the way he looked in leather…

Five had to work on his best poker face to keep the horror and vengeance away at his father’s suggestion. Oh yeah,he was gonna make sure his dad never spawned again,even if Five took his own father’s knives and castrated him. “Sure, mama.” He nodded at his mother,darkness eating at his soul with every syllable. But his mother just kept melting,so it was a good sign. “As long as we can do some kind of group thing and daddy does it with us.”

"I'd love to," Diego said pleasantly with an unbothered smile. Five wasn't going to get him here. He was winning this no matter what their son tries to throw back at him. "It'll be a blast, right, Klaus?”

And Klaus actually had to look away,feeling like he might cry. He wasn’t stupid,with what Five was calling them he knew there was _something_ going on,but he really wanted to pretend there wasn’t. He wanted to pretend that Five was little again and he was really looking forward to this as a family. God,did he really want another one of these mini creatures that were such a perfect mix of him and Diego?

With his mom’s silence Five knew he had to be careful. Too much and it would tip the scale and give him an opposite outcome of what he was looking for. So he bounced up on his feet and grabbed his mother’s hand to pull him up too. “I’m all so suddenly looking forward to this outing.”

Diego couldn't stop the eyeroll this time but he could hide it with wrapping an arm around Klaus' waist and kissing his curls. "We can talk more later," He murmured into his husband's ear. Maybe it was time he took the 'second child' thing seriously if the one they have now affected Klaus so much. "But we should get going before the faire gets too crowded and we miss out on a good parking place."

Good. Look,back on track. And his mother looked happy and was smiling. Five was lucky because that felt like a close one. He was going to have to keep an eye on his parents now, a real close one. Like when he’d climb into their bed after a nightmare and he’d sleep right in between them.

Klaus nodded at Diego,leaning more into him. It meant a lot more to him than he expected. He cleared his throat and managed to find his voice,enjoying the excitement on his son’s face. “I’m pretty sure with your parking stunts,D, you of all people can find us a good spot.” He winked. 

"When I have the wiggle room." Diego was good with his abilities behind the wheel. It would always be safer than Klaus doing the driving, which they mutually agreed should never happen unless it was an emergency. Diego kissed that smile as if it could make it last and he held his hand out to Klaus in offering. "Let's go see some knights."

Now there was a comment Klaus couldn’t reply to like he wanted to because the kid was there. He’s had a lot of fun playing with Diego’s _wiggle room_. It was a sure fire way to get Ben to stop bitching at him,that’s for sure. But he just smiled brighter at Diego’s insistence,and kisses always helped too. 

“Aren’t you already dressed as mama’s knight,daddy?” Five asked. He had already dug his grave with this act,he might as well lie in for the rest of the day. To make his mother happy,to remind him that Five still needed a lot of his attention and love. There was no time to take care of _another_.

Five was seriously layering up whatever this act was supposed to be. Diego gave his son an innocent look. "Of course," He answered, a little earnest in his voice because two can play whatever creepy game this was, "But there's going to be plenty of others to look at. So many costumes that I think your mom will be inspired with new ideas for next time."

“ _Next time_?” Klaus brightened up. Oh,this was gonna be the best day he’s had in a while with his boys. And they really needed to do more of these before Five gets too old and starts to resent them or not want anything to do with them. Teenagers suck, and Five was already on his first year of the teens. 

Five had to grit his teeth to keep all his comments to himself. It would serve his father right for Five to wind up needing braces! All he could do was give his father a nod because he didn’t trust his words to not be cruel. 

So he pressed close enough to his mother that Klaus actually wrapped his arm around Five’s shoulders. Trying to keep cute while feeling murderous. If his father was dead then the chances of a second child dropped drastically,but it’d make his mother said. And Five actually cared for his mother and didn’t want to break Klaus’ heart like that.

Diego already knew the grave he just made himself with that but he knew it'd get Klaus closer to being back to his cheery self for the day _and_ it would make his husband have something to look forward to instead of floundering in the thoughts of their son getting older. And yeah, he was pretty good with knowing that the idea struck a good hit on Five. "Only if you have a good time today and decide you want to keep going," He told Klaus. "Might not be so bad to make a few new traditions."

“Oh, don’t tempt me, D.” Klaus warned,shoving a few essentials into a sparkly gold drawstring purse on their way out. It matched his nails. He was prepared since he knew he’d end up keeping the car keys because he hadn’t wanted Diego ruining the lines of his knight costume.But he knew what Diego was offering,and Klaus didn’t realize that he kinda really wanted it,so it was still sweet. It earned Diego an equally sweet kiss as he lead Five outside.

The smile that broke out on Diego's face was real as he closed their door behind them and locked it. Happy Klaus, miserable Five, it sounded like one of the more enjoyable days. If Five somehow manages to genuinely enjoy the day then that'd be great, too. He'll look into NASA when they get back later, see about setting something up if their son doesn't cause too much emotional damage to someone.

Five got dizzy basically watching his mother dance down the hallway outside of their apartment,lucky he had let go of Five before he started twirling. 

It left Five to walk behind with his father. “And what do I get if I behave myself?” He asked out of the corner of his mouth. “This day doesn’t have to be a bitch for the both of us.”

Diego was not at all surprised that Five was going to ask about a deal himself. His smile took on a smirk at its edges before he could look down at his son with any similarity to innocence. "So now you want something? Here I thought all you needed with your mom's attention and love."

“What I _want_ I have a feeling you’d be inherently against it and deny me because mom wants it and you’re always on his side first.” Five corrected. “But don’t play dumb,dad. You married the only person in the world who thinks it’s cute.” He rolled his eyes.

Diego's brow rose challengingly at that. Sounded like another conversation to have when there's no risk of Klaus being within earshot. "I only play it for him so it's the only opinion on the play that matters," he replied, "How about you behave and help your mother have a good time, and I'll set something up about NASA, pay for one of their tours at Cape Canaveral or something. Good enough bribe for you?"

“You realize that the NASA convention was just a means as a possible way out of today,right? I’m not obsessed with space like Uncle Luther.” Five pointed out. But not even NASA got him out of this,nor did it let his break his mother’s heart and not go to this stupid thing in this stupid costume. “What I want,is a coffee tour through Seattle.” His parents didn’t let Five have too much coffee,but he snuck some in when he could. Even coffee chocolate chunk frozen yogurt. Five then rounded in front of his dad,pausing them both,and crossing his arms, “I’d _also_ love to not a big brother,father.”

Diego snorted and stared down at Five, "What?" His kid couldn't be serious. Well, actually, yeah, he could see Five being serious about coffee since they work hard at keeping so much of it away from him. But a tour of Seattle for that shit? Diego appreciated coffee as much as the next _normal_ person but that's not even on the same side of the country as them. "Your jokes are getting a lot better."

“A joke very much like my entire existence.” Five sighed,holding a hand out to stop his father and really get his attention. “But I’m serious about that last part. Wait till I’m at least in college if you have to _at all_ , which shouldn’t be too long before then, but I’d prefer to stay an only child. Look what having siblings did the both of you.” He reminded.

Okay, this was not the time, place, or person he intended to talk about this with. Diego looked over where Klaus was far ahead of them before he crouched to get eye level with Aidan. "Without siblings, there wouldn't be an Uncle Ben or Aunt Vanya for you to be so interested in," He pointed out. "We also had to deal with different circumstances that led to how things are. I'll take what you want under advisement, but it's between me and your mom. If it's something me and him both really want then you'll have to suck up having a sibling."

“From what I understand,dad, is that none of you guys were really close till after your own father died. And before then it was only touch and go with a few of you.” He guessed he liked being heard,but he didn’t exactly like his dad lowering himself to speak to Five. It felt like his father was pacifying him. “You really want a death to bring me close to your second spawn?” Five was smart and did check that his mother was father ahead,in his own little world, just like his father had checked as well.

Oddly enough,his father was who Five could be frank with,more honest with. He and his father weren’t really ones to dance around something...unless they were trying to make his mom happy. But his mom also almost to the car,he’d notice if Five and Diego were holding up the line.

"There were a lot of other things that were involved," Diego said calmly, he could feel something hotter starting to come up. He would not have his son start acting like he knew everything about their past. "If you didn't have a good relationship with any sibling we give you, it'd be solely on you, Aidan, and what you choose to do towards them."

“Things I’m not allowed to know yet. See the cycle you two have me stuck in? What motivation for getting along with little oozing beings you say I’m to share DNA with.” Then he turned on his heel and continued on his way after his mother,who was now leaning against the car and giving them a confused look. Five at least had the decency to give his mom and smile to try to not worry him too much,no matter how fake it was.

Diego wanted to haul their son's ass back inside and give it a what for, he really did. Klaus was why he didn't. Not yet. They might see about what happens when they get back from the faire. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to lose Aidan while they're there. Diego forced himself to stand and catch up to his family, clicking the unlock button on the key ring when he got close enough to catch the sensor.

“D?” Klaus asked when Five wasted no time getting into the back of the car. In the beginning, he hadn’t minded Diego and Five seeming to have a little heart to heart. And while he couldn’t see Five’s face while they spoke,Klaus could see a couple interesting ones fly across Diego’s. Now it looked like both parties weren’t too happy,so he wanted to touch base before they got it the car.

"Feel like driving through Starbucks for some drinks before we get there?" Diego asked, rolling right through what he knew Klaus was looking for. He wasn't ruining what he worked hard to get back on his husband's emotional scale.

Klaus’ eyes roamed over his husband’s face,not completely buying it. Diego and Five forgot that he saw a lot more than one would think he did. Klaus was confident he could get the real answer from Diego eventually,the lines around Diego’s eyes were too tight,it was one of Diego’s biggest tells. It’s why he couldn’t beat Klaus at strip poker. “Think you need it to handle me today?” He asked,tilting his head and going along with it for now.

Diego wasn't going to be able to get all of this out right now and he wasn't doing it in front of Klaus. He'll be honest with this later but definitely not right now. "I can handle you any time," hHe responded, smile as light as he can get it at the moment and catching Klaus' lips in a quick kiss. "Come on, let's go see some bards and wizards."

“You have no idea what it does to me the fact that you even know the word _bard_.” Klaus smirked,drawing his fingers down Diego’s chest. He loved Five,but too bad the kid was right there probably scowling at them through the window. “The only thing that could make this better is if you fight someone for my hand next,or protect my honor and virtue. Something sappy like that.”

"Klaus, you and Ben had a failed attempt at doing Dungeons & Dragons," Diego reminded before kissing him once more. "But I am putting my foot down at doing jousting at this thing." Who is he kidding? If it makes Klaus happy then he'll wind up doing it and look smug when he beats the poor sucker he's up against.

“Yeah,but we could never get you to play it.” Klaus scoffed. They could get Vanya to be an elf,and even Luther of all people to be something big and meat-headed. “I _begged_ you and begged you to play with us,maybe even get lucky and get you to sit by me. And if Ben was still really here I would have been so fucking excited to introduce Five to D&D. And train him to be a DM.” He sighed sadly.

"It's not my thing," Diego shrugged, "I was good watching you do it." Where Diego could keep that distance but still have Klaus in his sights. "Ben would still play with you even now. No one else would know if you cheated or not but you'd still have your fun."

Klaus smiled at that and kissed Diego _again_. “I always had a feeling I had eyes on me,I just use to think it was dad. It’s a lot less creepy knowing it’s you.” Or not,Diego could have still been considered a creeper. But a sweet creeper. “Ben would know I cheated,he’d never leave me alone till I admitted it. But at this time,I don’t think it’s Five’s thing either. He looks a little put out now.” He nodded to their son who had his arms crossed in the back seat and eyes fixed resolutely ahead.

Diego didn't exactly care if Five was put out right now. He had it coming. "He'll be fine," he said with a squeeze of Klaus' hips. "I love you. We're going to have a good time at this faire thing, and then when we get back you and I will have something to do for ourselves while he holds up in his room."

“Aw,I love it when you always do that sweet looking on the bright side thing. It’s so not your thing.” Klaus cooed,brushing his fingers over Diego’s jaw. “But I love you too.” He nodded. “Especially when you buy me expensive sugar from an evil coffee selling corporation.” He winked and pulled away from his husband to get in the car.

Diego almost snorted but he left it at a smile instead. Klaus and Ben were the ones who took the reigns on optimism most of the time. He just liked to do it when it could get that look on his husband's face. He got in the car without glancing at Five and started the car, their kid was getting decaf no matter what.

Klaus turned around to their son,ready to tell the news to Mr Grumpy Gills there. “Aidy,your dad is getting us coffee and sugar on the way to the faire. That’s something to look forward to,right?”

Five,who was ready to slip out of the car while unnoticed if his parents didn’t the show on the road,turned his eyes to his father at the news. He didn’t know if he was trust that,or if he was suppose to trust his dad with his drink. “For _all_ of us?” He wanted to clarify.

Diego's eyes stayed on the task of backing their car out of their spot and getting on the road. Decaf was still coffee. Five would have to get used to it. "There are three people in the car," He said mildly, "It's a treat for everyone."

That still felt like a trap,and Five narrowed his eyes at his father when his mother twisted back around to buckle up. It felt like a Cold War,something going on behind his mom’s back. And maybe it should be applauding that Five knew exactly where his strategy tactics came from, maybe if he didn’t share blood with his father.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
